Tuesday, June 26, 2007

It's just my, uh, collection...

I heard a disturbing story at lunch the other day. I will mention no names, but long story short, I found out a woman I know use to collect and save her belly-button lint as a child because she liked how soft it was. Although I laughed till I cried, deep down I was quite bothered. But it got me thinking about my own strange little collection when I was young.

I had quite the get-rich-quick scheme. Well, not really quick, I worked on it for months, but a real money maker (or so I thought.) I knew that you could recycle aluminum cans for money. But we didn't drink much soda around our house. We did, however, use aluminum foil for cooking dinner and storing leftovers, etc. I figured I was sitting on a gold mine. I just needed to save up our aluminum foil until I had a big load of it and go recycle it to cash in a big payday. I was worried that if I told my parents, they wouldn't let me (or they might steal my idea for themselves), so I kept it my little secret. I would do the dishes after dinner and sneek the tin foil down to my room where I would wrap it into a little ball, growing bigger layer by layer.

Of course this secret also included finding a creative hiding place where my mom wouldn't find it. I had a big decorative straw hat hanging on my wall, so I put the ball of foil up inside the hat. I was a genious! No more babysitting for me. I was now a bonified entrepreneur.

I don't know how, but low and behold my mom busted me. I think she caught me sneaking some of the foil downstairs one night. Once she made me spill my guts, she confiscated my valuable collection and tossed it out. (Something about mold or rotting food or something.) OK, maybe I should have rinsed some of the foil better before storing it - but hey, the extra food would have just made it weigh more, thus increasing my profits, right? It's a shame she didn't have a head for business like me.

Honestly, I don't think you even can recycle tin foil. But looking back, it was definitely an odd collection for a child to have, motive or not. I know belly-button lint and tin foil are hard to beat, but did anyone out there have wierd collections of their own?

15 comments:

Rochelleht said...

That makes me laugh out loud, even though I've heard it all before (and I DO know who saved her belly-button lint, but I won't tell!).

My ex-boyfriend saved his hard-boiled egg yolks when he was a kid.

My brothers saved cigarette butts from the local park when they were kids. Hid them in their closet.

katri said...

ewww... cigarette butts?? That is gross... but I think I can top you.

My friend in middle school had an older sister. One time when we were at her house we were playing in their attic. (It was one of those cool converted attics.) Anyway, I opened a drawer and there were a ton of pink plastic things. I had no idea what they were. I hold one up and said, "hey, what is this? some kind of collection or something? "A---- cringed and said, "my sister is so gross, I can't believe you are touching those things."

Still having no idea what they are, but sure from her reaction they were to be shunned, I dropped the little pink treasure back with it's friends and shut the drawer.

"The Visitor" didn't come to my house for many more years. What can I say? I was a pretty naive girl and had never seen one tampon applicator, much less a whole collection.

Rochelleht said...

Katri, that KILLS me!!!

Reminds me of the time my little friend came over to our house and found one in the garbage and put it in her mouth. My mom understandably freaked out. It wasn't until 10 years later and I learned how they were used that I understood my mom's reaction!!

Laurie said...

Katri - that is so gross! Ahhh!! I don't have any cool stories like ya'll. I do remember my mom kept my youngest brother's first bugger (when he was weeks old) on the bathroom counter for weeks. I was 12 years old and completely grossed out. However, looking back I think she was just too lazy to clean it up rather than keeping it as a momento.

Chanda said...

Wow - I thought nobody could top my story. You guys put me to shame!

Craig said...

All y'all gross me out!

katri said...

hey! It wasn't MY collection! :)

Rochelleht said...

Ditto!

And what's a bugger?

Laurie said...

Rochelle - dried snot. I don't know how to spell that I guess.

Rochelleht said...

Ha ha ha!!

Gotcha. Thanks for the clarification.

Rebecca said...

I didn't have a gross collection, but I have a gross story. When I was in Blue Birds we went to visit a veterinarian. He was a crazy man, very nice, but weird sense of humor. So, he had just cropped the tails off a bunch of puppies and asked us if we wanted to keep one. He was joking. But what little kid can resist taking home a puppy dog tail? Not me. So home I trot with a cropped off puppy dog tail. I kept it in a cup on my dresser until it started to smell too bad to breathe. My mother was completely dismayed. I would die if my children brought a puppy dog tail home. I think I would call the vet and the Blue Bird leader and give them a piece of my mind. So, belly button lint? Not so gross. Okay it is.

Chanda said...

So I know it's my own fault for even asking, but I don't think you guys can be my friends anymore.

Rochelleht said...

I am SOOO laughing out loud. You guys SLAY me! Puppy dog tails? That takes the cake.

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